Society Teaches Rape and Sexual Assault: and Profits From It
Society accepts rape and sexual harassment as an acceptable, and profitable, reality. Until that fact changes women’s lives, and rights to personal security, will never improve. As I write this the Judge Kavanaugh hearing is being televised for everyone to watch. It’s heart-wrenching. I believe something happened to the woman that affected her life. It may stop a man from becoming a Supreme Court Justice. And although it brings an important issue into the light, I don’t believe it will make a long-term difference in the way society treats and respects women.
Human beings learn from what they see in the world and the reactions to specific behaviors. It’s the if/then functioning of the mind. If I do this, then the other person will do that. We learn our behavior by observing the world around us. With that in mind, what do young men, and older men, see and where do they see it?
Where men learn sexual interactions with women:
Men learn what is acceptable behavior from the entertainment industry. That industry includes video games, television, movies, music, literature, and pornography. Human beings mimic what they see as successful behavior and there is no greater resource than the media. Let’s take a look at a few examples of what young men see as “successful” behavior:
Twilight:
Edward is a much older man (forget the fact that he looks young) that has wealth, power, and the ability to be very persuasive. He stalks a young, innocent, inexperienced, high school girl living in a small town (including breaking into her home to watch her sleep) and isolates her from both her friends and her family. Eventually the girl devotes herself to him and sleeps with him. Young men around the world took note that young girls, and even adult women, thought he was sexy and irresistible.
50 Shades of Grey:
An attractive 21-year-old virginal woman meets a 27-year-old billionaire that was, himself, a victim of sexual assault as a child by one of his mother’s female friends. He manipulates her into losing her virginity on their first “date” as well as signing a non-disclosure agreement. He begins to control her every movement, both sexually and personally, manipulating her with lavish gifts and false promises. Christian Grey is an abusive, manipulative, gaslighting, sexual predator and female readers loved it. Sales of BDSM paraphernalia skyrocketed and the novel became one of the best-selling novels of all time. It spawned an entertainment empire that included novels, movies, and merchandise. Young men took note: controlling women, through manipulation and pain, pays off.
Grand Theft Auto:
One of the most popular video game franchises of all time. Gangsters, gangbangers, and thieves steal cars, kill police, and pimp out hookers, except the ones they decide to beat down on the hard streets of the video city they are trying to control. The more violent the player, the more willing to cause havoc and mayhem, the better your score. The more successful you are as a playa!
Superman:
In Action Comics (one of the best-selling titles of all time) #592 and #593 Superman raped a woman by the name of Big Barda and produced a porn flick. Granted they were both hypnotized by an evil villain, but no apology or offer of therapy was ever given to the female superhero. If the greatest superhero of all time, the very epitome of good, can rape a woman and still fight evil… well then, how evil is rape?
Getting a woman drunk:
Pick your favorite amongst thousands of choices. Get the woman drunk and she’ll sleep with you regardless of whether she likes you or not. Frequently the woman ends up sleeping with a guy that disgusts her when she’s sober, and although she will hate herself in the morning for her ill-advised action, she will end up hating and blaming herself not the man in question. It’s the walk of shame and men’s belief that it is normal, natural, and a great way to get laid is reinforced on a daily basis on television, movies, and even social media memes.
Music Videos:
Become a gangbanger, treat women like property (a pimp if possible), and make it rain in the strip clubs and you will positively drown in half-naked women gyrating all over your body just begging to give themselves to you. What other message could a young man get from a video like that?
Real life:
Charlie Sheen, Johnny Depp, President Bill Clinton, R Kelly, John Travolta, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, Nelly, uncountable NFL players, and Kobe Bryant have all been accused of either domestic assault, sexual harassment, or rape on multiple occasions without a single severe repercussion to date. They are still rich, hanging out with beautiful women, and still considered important and successful members of society. Young men learn there are little or no repercussions for bad behavior.
Pornography:
Treat her like a slut and fuck her like an animal. That’s the message of pornography. Call her names, she’s a naughty girl just waiting for a man to teach her what she wants: and needs. She’s just sitting around the house waiting for you to walk in on her and make her yours. She wants you any, and every, way possible. At some point you’ll be able to cum on her face to mark her as yours just like the dominant, masculine, male animal you are. Pornography is freely available and young men, and grown men, around the world are watching. What are some of the biggest trends in free porn right now (You can pop that question into google if you’re curious): Young girls caught shoplifting, fake casting agents, and blackmailed step-sisters/daughters. What message do you think young men are getting from that?
Who’s to blame:
The entertainment industry, authors included, are out there sharing their stories of sexual assault and harassment. I respect that and it’s a great first step. They are public figures and have both a voice and an audience. They can reach people. Each individual situation is heartbreaking, outrageous, and traumatic, but the assaults and harassment are a symptom of the disease not the disease itself. If they wish to make change– real change that will last– then they need to stop taking fame and money from the very system that keeps the disease alive.
On that note, I want to give a shout-out to Mariska Hargitay for not only playing the most amazing female role on TV, being a survivor herself, and for walking her talk with all of the incredible work she does through her organization “The Joyful Heart Foundation”.
I once wrote an article asking what responsibility authors have for what they write. It was not well received by fellow authors. The fear of censorship reared its ugly head and people railed against the thought. If it was about censorship, I would have railed against it as well. The message that should have been received was that I believe we have a responsibility to write in a manner that improves the world, either through inspiration or through education, and not tear society down or reinforce stereotypes that show appalling behavior as a “cost-free” endeavor.
In my FBoM series I show rape for what it is and the aftermath of the wreckage it leaves. I expose gaslighters, sexual predators, and child molesters for what they are. I also show the results of seeking vengeance and what it does to the soul. I explore the strength of women and applaud them for their ability to pick themselves up and live with things they should never have had to experience. It has been said multiple times, that once you’ve read my FBoM series you’ll never look at the world the same way again, and that it should be required reading by every man, and woman, as either a cautionary tale or a cathartic experience.
Art, literature, music, and media have the ability to change the world at a level politicians, psychologists, laws, and research reports will never have. We touch the soul, inflame hearts, and create visions of what can be, and what never should have been.
The Challenge:
I challenge all of the authors, actors, actresses, musicians, and video game manufacturers to step up and say, “Doing the right thing is more important than doing what’s most profitable.” Change the narrative and show young men, and women, what healthy interactions are like. Show them that treating each other as equals will lead towards fulfilling relationships beyond, but including, sexual satisfaction.
The disease of the rape-culture we live within will not change by individual news stories, or heartbreaking interviews. The disease will not be cured overnight. The disease will be cured slowly, over time, once the younger generations can witness, observe, and learn from media that teaches healthy relationships instead of reinforcing the same stereotypes we have been exposed to for generations.
The Next Thing To Do:
Read FBoM and get a dose of reality. Then feel free to share it with anyone, and everyone, you may know. Start the discussion that will create change and someday, hopefully, cure the disease that has existed since time began.
CLICK HERE TO GRAB YOUR COPY OF FBoM TODAY!
HERE ARE A FEW OTHER SITES TO FIND MEN WITH HEALTHY MESSAGES
The Goodmen Project
Doctor Nerdlove
ADDITIONAL ARTICLES ON EMBOSSO.NET
#WHYIDIDNTREPORT
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