The Incel Next Door: in a Basement Plotting World Domination
The InCel movement is more dangerous, and widespread, than you ever imagined. This multi-part exploration of the people, problems, and possible solutions might cause outrage, concern, and even fear: It should. The average InCel is smart, angry, and starting to lash out. Part one focuses on who they are and what they are angry about. It’s a complex situation and putting it all together in one article doesn’t do justice to the magnitude of the problem.
Part 1:
It’s time for another epic blog post sure to make some people upset and others… probably upset as well. That’s my superpower: annoying people and making them think about things they’d rather ignore. It isn’t a power that will save the world, but if it makes the planet spin a little slower, or the stars a little brighter… I’ll take hit from the people that have a desire to tell me I’m wrong. If you’re ready to be outraged on either side of the discussion, let’s chat about the Involuntarily Celibate: AKA InCels. It’s not new. It’s not uncharted water. But oddly, it’s still not an issue that everyone is familiar with, and it’s definitely not a topic people want to confront with honest words and real meaning. That’s not a problem I frequently have.
The InCel Defined:
For those of you that haven’t had the great displeasure of hearing the term InCel before, here’s a definition:
““Involuntary Celibate”. A frustrated virgin who feels as if the world owes them sex. A self-described ‘InCel’ is highly likely to blame their virginity on the other 6,999,999,999 people on the planet rather than consider that maybe the problem lies inward.””—Thank you Urban Dictionary
If that isn’t descriptive enough, let’s peruse a popular InCel board with over 60,000 members.
A post entitled “Feminism is the radical notion that women are oppressed by a society that caters to their every demand” garnered the following responses (please forgive the spelling, punctuation, and grammar: I’m simply reporting what they are saying.):
“Exactly this. A society that slaps her in the face would be accepted and respected. Women want (and possibly even need) oppression. If it’s nowhere, they’ll make it up.”—wolfgang
“Poor insatiable sluts.”—Membrudo
“Thank feminist lawmakers and judges for single motherhood.”—optionsreprimanded
“I don’t like how all men are being demonized in general. Why demonize all women. Some of these spoiled women or man haters infuriate me too. But I’ve never been catered to. I’ve worked hard to be a good partner and that worked against me. I don’t lump all men together.”—A somewhat rational woman trying to understand and discuss.
“Leave. No one gives a fly fuck what you think/feel—Randy (in response to the female who dared to share a thought)
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A post entitled “Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair. —Bill Maher
“I think women should lower their standards. My two best friends at the moment have GF wo are beneath them in terms of physical attractiveness which makes me sick because the way society has shifted in recent decades is all due to men’s doing. We should of kept the females on a led like we’ve always done throughout history.”— GotTigerBlood
“Are you implying that if InCels go out of their basements, they would be drowning in pussy? It is better they stay in their basement. If they got out, they would only get depressed at how shallow women are.” – justkoln
“I disagree. Sex might be relatively easy for men to get, but only on condition you are ready to compromise your integrity.”—2metersabove
“Yep. That’s why men and women can never be equals. Give women all men rights, they become the masters and we become the slaves.”—Sneakybobo
You get the point. Those are just from today on one of their lovely forums. I didn’t go looking for the juicy inflammatory stuff, you can find that for yourself if you feel the need. I just wanted to give you a flavor for what I’m talking about and I think those quotes give a clear, although not complete, picture of what an InCel really is. He’s a frustrated, angry, socially-stunted, and incredibly dangerous member of society that has already been the cause of multiple murders, deaths, and sexual assaults. Not all of them of course, but their numbers are growing at an alarming rate.
Although not anywhere near a complete list, and these are only the murders not sexual assaults, the following incidents have been linked directly to InCels in the last several years:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_Collier_Township_shooting
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umpqua_Community_College_shooting
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toronto_van_attack
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akihabara_massacre
Now, if you are a fan of my FBoM series, you might be thinking that my solution would be to track these lowlife dirtbags (sorry, I had to pull out a little Paul Richards to get in the mood) and tie them to a chair with their eyes taped open forcing them to watch a marathon of movies, showing what real life has been like for women over the centuries, culminating in a barrage of chick flicks that would make Nicholas Sparks blush. The goal: to make them understand where women have been, how far society has come, and how far they still have to go. Why the romance movies at the end? Just to be mean. I’d make them watch until the first tear fell during The Notebook and then make them beg me to let them finish watching the movie. I’m a jerk that way.
As charming as that plan might be, it’s not realistic nor will it solve the underlying problem. InCels are a product of a society that has allowed them to exist and exploited their inherent weakness of isolating themselves and shifting the blame for their pain and loneliness onto others. Yes, I said they are in pain. That’s why we, as humans, lash out, get frustrated, blame the world for being unfair and not giving us the love and respect we all crave. Instead giving these tortured souls the life skills to find the happiness, joy, and love they so crave, we’ve given them video games, music, and television/movies that feed into their insecurities. We’ve forced them to believe that women are adversarial and the only way to coexist with them is to either look like Brad Pitt or to dominate and control the opposite sex. We’ve limited their ability to see past what they can’t physically see (personality, depth of character, and all of the intangibles that make relationships have meaning.)
Through the media, video games, and porn, they’ve limited their views of what interactions between men and women should be to a single dimensional aspect: sex. Don’t get me wrong, there are many days I think it would be nice not to have to deal with the feelings, emotions, interests, or desires of another human being. Relationships can be tough and sometimes confusing. The thought of a smokin’ hot thirty-something walking in my front door, riding me like a mechanical horse, and leaving a sandwich on the counter before she leaves sounds pretty good somedays, but then what would I do with the other twenty-three hours of my day? Who would I speak with? Who would exist to share my feelings, fears, successes and failures? Those are some of the intangibles an Incel doesn’t understand. Why don’t they understand? Because they can’t see, or touch, those intangible factors in a world that has become focused on visual stimuli. If it isn’t visible; it isn’t real.
Yet possibly our worse sin, as a society, has been not teaching these young men that it’s okay to not be an all-star athlete or famous actor. We haven’t taught them how to maximize the gifts they do have and appreciate both themselves, and the opposite gender that has a shared interest. We tried to bang the square pegs that they are into a round hole instead of teaching them that there are plenty of square holes out there that would appreciate, and love, them for who they are. What’s more, those square holes are able to offer them a much more fulfilling, and wondrous, life than someone stuck in the “visual-centric” world they think they admire.
Many of the InCels have never been given the opportunity to truly fail and had a mentor/coach/father that was willing to say, “We all fail sometimes. It’s no big deal, we can’t all be all-stars. That’s why they’re called all-stars.” We’ve handed out too many twelfth-place ribbons and never given them the opportunity to say, “Maybe trying to outrun a future Olympian isn’t in my wheelhouse, but I bet I’d be good at (pick a different activity, I don’t care) and there is no way that guy could keep up with me.”
It’s probably a fault of mine, but I tend to use baseball as a metaphor that fits into large swathes of life. The InCel situation is no different. On the baseball field there are nine players on defense at any one time. Every single position is important, but everyone wants to be the pitcher. Being a pitcher takes a level of work, effort, focus and insanity most individuals simply can’t fathom. What’s more, a good pitcher still fails more than he succeeds and has to learn to live with that fact. He’s given a maximum of six pitches (foul balls not included) to pitch three strikes knowing that even if he’s doing a good job the batter is probably going to hit the ball into play three out of every ten times. What’s more, if you’re having a bad day, or the other team is exceptionally good, your coach is going to walk out onto the field, in front of your friends and family, and remove you from the game because you have failed. Why would someone want to do that to themselves?
As someone that coached baseball and softball, I have a better question that has plagued me for years: why would a parent insist that their son should be put in that position knowing their kid has little, or no, chance of success? I can’t tell you the number of times I had conversations with parents that went something like this:
“Why doesn’t my son ever pitch?”
“I let your son work on pitching every practice.”
“But why isn’t my son pitching in games?”
“Because I don’t put kids in positions that I know they can’t succeed.”
“My son is a better pitcher than Ralph (or Joe, or Bob, or Tony).”
“No, no he really isn’t.”
The conversation normally annoyed me enough that I finally gave in and let the kid pitch for an inning, and guess what? They didn’t succeed. They didn’t do well at all and the experience was occasionally so traumatic that they kid gave up baseball completely. Why give up? Because someone told them the only way to be successful on the field, have fun or enjoy the game, was to be the pitcher.
How does that relate to the InCels? Because someone told them the only way to enjoy relationships, women, life, and love was to be dating (which only equates to fucking) a Stacie. Someone, like the media, told them that in order to enjoy the game of living you had to be the pitcher. Guess what InCel men… Every single World Series Champion had a Right-Fielder, Left-Fielder, Base-Coach, Statistician, Scorekeeper, Trainer, and about thirty other guys doing their jobs and loving the experience. Being a Chad and sleeping with a Stacee isn’t the only way to succeed. It isn’t even a decent yardstick of happiness unless you live in a world where only one tiny aspect of life matters. But I digress… back on the topic of InCels and what they have been taught to believe.
Here are a few of the main issues on the InCel Agenda:
Women owe them sex. Yes… OWE.
Women shouldn’t be allowed to date up: someone the InCel believes is out of her league
Women Should not be allowed to wear makeup: it’s fraud and deception
There are only two types of males in the world, InCels and Chads: Chads are good looking Brad Pitt/Chris Hemsworth types (I’m not sure where I fit it, I’m certainly not in their league, but I digress…)
As for women, there appears to be only one type of woman that they specifically single out, Stacies. : Stacies are the beautiful women that will not give the aforementioned sex that the InCels feel they have the right to have. There are many other names the InCels use to describe women, but they are legion and derisive and aren’t worth listing.
Here is an amazing article that further describes InCels in depth. I suggest you read it, they aren’t going away so you might as well be informed:
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/trouble-with-incels/
Further reading on Incels:
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-rage-of-the-incels
Books InCels (and everyone else) should read:
How to Win Friends and Influence People
And be sure to check out my FBoM series on Amazon… definitely read my novels. 😉
Part 2 will take a more in-depth look at the problem, and what some of the causes to this disturbing trend entail. Stay tuned and be sure to follow me on Facebook to be notified of the next installment.